In just six days

God’s Blog

By Paul Simms, August 8, 2011

UPDATE:  Pretty pleased with what I’ve come up with in just six days. Going to take tomorrow off. Feel free to check out what I’ve done so far. Suggestions and criticism (constructive, please!) more than welcome. God out.

 

COMMENTS (24)

 

Not sure who this is for. Seems like a fix for a problem that didn’t exist. Liked it better when the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep.

 

Going carbon-based for the life-forms seems a tad obvious, no?

 

The creeping things that creepeth over the earth are gross.

 

Not enough action. Needs more conflict. Maybe put in a whole bunch more people, limit the resources, and see if we can get some fights going. Give them different skin colors so they can tell each other apart.

 

Disagree with the haters out there who have a problem with man having dominion over the fish of the sea, the fowl of the air, the cattle of the earth, and so on. However, I do think it’s worth considering giving the fowl of the air dominion over the cattle of the earth, because it would be really funny to see, like, a wildebeest or whatever getting bossed around by a baby duck.

 

The “herb yielding seed” is a hella fresh move. 4:20!

 

Why are the creatures more or less symmetrical on a vertical axis but completely asymmetrical on a horizontal axis? It’s almost like You had a great idea but You didn’t have the balls to go all the way with it.

 

The dodo should just have a sign on him that says, “Please kill me.” Ridiculous.

 

Amoebas are too small to see. They should be at least the size of a plum.

 

Beta version was better. I thought the Adam-Steve dynamic was much more compelling than the Adam-Eve work-around You finally settled on.

 

I liked the old commenting format better, when you could get automatic alerts when someone replied to your comment. This new way, you have to click through three or four pages to see new comments, and they’re not even organized by threads. Until this is fixed, I’m afraid I won’t be checking in on Your creation.

 

***SPOILER***

One of them is going to eat something off that tree You told them not to touch.

 

Adam was obviously created somewhere else and then just put here. So, until I see some paperwork proving otherwise, I question the legitimacy of his dominion over any of this.

 

Why do they have to poop? Seems like there could have been a more elegant/family-friendly solution to the food-waste-disposal problem.

 

The lemon tree: very pretty. The lemon flower: sweet. But the fruit of the poor lemon? Impossible to eat. Is this a bug or a feature?

 

Unfocussed. Seems like a mishmash at best. You’ve got creatures that can speak but aren’t smart (parrots). Then, You’ve got creatures that are smart but can’t speak (dolphins, dogs, houseflies). Then, You’ve got man, who is smart and can speak but who can’t fly, breathe underwater, or unhinge his jaws to swallow large prey in one gulp. If it’s supposed to be chaos, then mission accomplished. But it seems more like laziness and bad planning.

 

If it’s not too late to make changes, in version 2.0 You should make water reflective, so the creatures have a way of seeing what they look like.

 

S*H*O*E*S!!! Manolo Jimmy Choo Vuitton Prada +++ All sizes Great deals Free shipping! @@@ [www.shoezwarehouze.com]

 

Penguins are retarded. Their wings don’t work and their legs are too short. I guess they’re supposed to be cute in a “I liek to eat teh fishes” way, but it’s such obvious pandering to the lowest common denominator.

 

There’s imitation, and then there’s homage, and then there’s straight-up idea theft, which is what Your thing appears to be. Anyone who wants to check out the original should go to www.VishnuAndBrahma.com. (And check it out soon, because I think they’re about to go behind a paywall.)

 

Putting boobs on the woman is sexist.

 

Wow. Just wow. I don’t even know where to start. So the man and his buddy the rib-thing have dominion over everything. They’re going to get pretty unbearable really fast. What You need to do is make them think that there were other, bigger, scarier creatures around a long time before them. I suggest dinosaurs. No need to actually create dinosaurs—just create some weird-ass dinosaur bones and skeletons and bury them in random locations. Man will dig them up eventually and think, What the f?

 

Epic fail.

 

Meh. ♦

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2011/08/08/110808sh_shouts_simms or http://nyr.kr/oAzqQX or http://tinyurl.com/3d29nyz

Image is detail from Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam” in the Sistine Chapel.

Related Posts

Special clearance Muslim Brotherhood Taking Over America, Six Hour FBI Meeting By Victoria Jackson, 12/27/11 08:19 AM ET ... Former "Saturday Night Live" actress...
The well is deep The Means Determine the End By Harry Emerson Fosdick, Living Under Tension, 1941, Harper and Brothers, New York and London, pages 102 – 111. ... ...
See how easy this is? The Muslim Test: How To Expose The Hypocrisy Of The Religious Right By Justin "Filthy Liberal Scum" Rosario, December 27, 2011 ... One of the m...
Smells like TEA Old Ron Paul Video Warns of One-World Religion, UN Dictatorship By Tim Murphy, Tue Dec. 27, 2011 3:05 AM PST ... Rep. Ron Paul's presidential c...
Death via live broadcast On third anniversary of Gaza war, we will remember By Amira Hass, 03:53 02.01.12 ... On the third anniversary of the Cast Lead onslaught, we re...
With us always Why we still can’t talk about slavery By Peter Birkenhead, Tuesday, Dec 27, 2011 12:00 PM 13:11:06 CST ... The menu at the Cabin was long, one ...
Fully entitled to ask Romney’s Mormon Problem By Christopher Hitchens, Monday, Oct. 17, 2011, at 11:05 AM ET ... I have no clear idea whether Pastor Robert Jeffress ...
Religious impulse revealed 2011: when protest turned peaceful By Peter Popham, Saturday 24 December 2011 ... In September, a man nicknamed "Little Gandhi" was buried in h...
These champions of Zion How I became a 'terrorist' By Abdelrahman Al Ahmar, 02:47 23.12.11 ... The first time I was attacked by an Israeli settler, I was 14 years old....
The irony would not have been lost The near-religious zeal that drives the godless By Howard Jacobson, Saturday 24 December 2011 ... May I take this opportunity to wish readers...

Permanent link to this article: http://levantium.com/2011/08/09/in-just-six-days/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.