The good doctor-chairman complains that he cannot adequately explain himself within the constraints of this newspaper’s 500-word limit, but let’s see if we cannot concisely summarize the essence of all recent regressive rants:
God good. Guns good. Baby Jesus good. God bless Bibi Netanyahu and George Bush. War good. Torture good. Ronald Reagan very, very good.
Liberals bad. Mike and Bill and George bad. College professors bad. Muslims bad. Sermon on the Mount Jesus bad (or at least never mentioned in polite company). Obama Muslim. Ergo, Obama bad. And stupid. And a liar.
There! Less than 100 words… Oh, a few more things. America good. America exceptional. Founding fathers all good, fundamentalist Christians. Ipso facto, America Christian. Never criticize America. Love America, or leave it.
Guess that puts us at around 160 words, by the time we finally wind things down. And even good folk afflicted with sesquipedalophobia (or even the less serious hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia) can likely follow along.
Hot Springs, Arkansas