Ludicrous

By Monsieur d’Nalgar, June 22, 2012 CE

“Ludicrous” — an online dictionary defines it as something laughable, ridiculous, idiotic or unthinkable, often to the point of being funny. Examples abound…

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Ludicrous is men telling women what they can and cannot do or say, especially when it comes to their own bodies, that most intimate of property rights.

Ludicrous is right-wingers explaining the beliefs and motivations of their political opposition.  Ludicrous is thinking Marxism is alive and well anywhere on this late, great planet Earth.  Ludicrous is tea party types, a veritable petite soirée d’enfants terribles of rebranded, born-again John Birchers with their lingering Eisenhower-was-a-commie paranoid blues, fretting that Señor Fidel is on the very verge of goose-stepping UN storm troopers down America’s sidewalks.

Ludicrous is Christians explaining a Muslim’s beliefs and motivations, or an atheist’s.  And vice versa.  Ludicrous is believing Jesus of Nazareth was crucified for peddling prosperity gospel in occupied Palestine.  Ludicrous is hoping here and now doesn’t matter because we’re about to catch a magic-bus rapture ride into outer space before things really hit rock bottom.

Ludicrous is 50% of the grandiose old Republican Party believing every wingnut conspiracy theory about the black man in the White House.  Ludicrous is too many retired Americans with socialized healthcare scared to death of socialized healthcare.

Ludicrous is thinking Fox News is fair and balanced, or that it is news.  Ludicrous is believing the rest of the faux news bobble-heads aren’t also beholden to their corporate masters.

Ludicrous is believing we’re fighting them over there so we don’t have to fight them here at home.  Ludicrous is believing our own hands are clean, and that we are always on the right side of history.  Ludicrous is believing Americans are exceptional.  Ludicrous is thinking bumper-stickers and flag pins are the same thing as real patriotism.  Ludicrous is believing torture works and that blowback never happens.

Ludicrous is love it or leave it.

Ludicrous is believing nefarious socialists are transferring wealth from fat-cats to the poor, despite 30 years of evidence that the tides of prosperity are rushing in the other direction.  Ludicrous is fixating on Obama’s foreign father while ignoring Romney’s foreign bank accounts.

Ludicrous is pop-historian David Barton’s latest theory about Thomas Jefferson, that a man who had nothing but scorn for organized religion redacted all those hocus-pocus sections of the KJV out of sincere Christian zeal, to evangelize skeptical aboriginals we had not yet cleansed from the American landscape.

Ludicrous is believing politicians and judges can’t be bought.  Or votes.

Ludicrous is believing our Constitution is holier than George Washington’s ossified kneebone.  Ludicrous is insisting a document written long ago by slave-owning aristocrats cannot, must not ever change, that it is immutable even while the world is shrinking and shifting and shaking all around us.

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So what, pray tell, is NOT ludicrous?  How about our ideals, the best, enduring aspirations of an oppressed people who once upon a time declared there had to be a better way than endless tyranny?

Does anyone out there still remember those quaint notions about equality and justice for everyone?  Or are such dreams now exclusive, a private reserve of hope and opportunity for only our richest Americans with deep pedigrees and unchallenged credentials?  Perhaps the rest of us should just keep our heads down and move along.  Like sheep.

Remember this bit of lofty prose?  That we, the people, hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, and it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish, and institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Tell me, sheep, are these truths really self-evident, or merely ludicrous?

Modified June 23 and June 29, 2012 CE.

Woodcut illustration of Der Schalcksnarr (the jester), by Heinrich Vogtherr the Younger (1513 – 1568), around 1540.  http://publicdomainclip-art.blogspot.com/2012/04/der-schalcksnarr-jester-fool.html or http://bit.ly/KqCXUD