Monsieur Jacques d'Nalgar

Under a rock for the next two years.

Monsieur Jacques d’Nalgar is a working curmudgeon with a cat-killing curiosity in politics, religion, history, and other manifestations of irrational human behavior. He resides in Hot Springs, Arkansas, a semi-autonomous region of the United States (a waning political experiment on the third planet of a minor solar system in a remote corner of the Milky Way galaxy), with his wife and other assorted wildlife. ... Jacques is a son and grandson of Baptist preachers, missionaries and educators. He was born in Beirut, Lebanon, where his father was a school headmaster for more than 30 years (and before that, a B-17 navigator in the last months of WW2). He grew up in the Middle East during the turbulent 50s, 60s, and 70s, but left just before Lebanon’s 15-year civil war nightmare began in earnest. Most reputable historians do not associate the onset of that tragic conflict with his departure. He returned for a visit in 1978, three years into the conflict. His right eye still occasionally twitches as a result. ... After colleges in Oklahoma and 16 years working for a company now forever identified with war profiteering and the dark lord Darth Cheney, he moved his family to Hot Springs in 1994. Jacques spends most of his time reading, blogging under a barely-disguised snotty “Freedom Fries” pseudonym, and staring at the sun. He works tirelessly for the OAFS (Obsessive Alliteration-Fondness Syndrome) Foundation, as both its only benefactor and sole beneficiary... Jacques’ political pilgrimage has meandered across much of the regressive-to-progressive continuum. Once a staunch conservative, he found himself suddenly adrift in left field when the rest of the country lurched hard-right after 9-11. He is a frequent critic of our national love affair with wars, rampant nationalism in general, and the resurgent, xenophobic frenzy that masquerades as patriotism ... He once defined his religious confession as Zen Baptist, a burgeoning movement (of one) within the Southern Baptist Convention, seeking to reclaim the mantle of Christian orthodoxy from fevered fundamentalists just itching for Armageddon. When evangelicals embraced the tangerine wankmaggot Trump and rejected Jesus, he abandoned the family faith and warily embraced Episcopalians' peculiar cocktail of ancient traditions and progressive inclusion. Monsieur d’Nalgar may be reached by sending him your questions telepathically, or by sending him money. He prefers the latter.

Most commented posts

  1. Bane of fundamentalism — 10 comments
  2. An obituary — 10 comments
  3. What we should be talking about — 9 comments
  4. Climate change in Arkansas — 8 comments
  5. Some powerfully stupid stuff — 7 comments

Author's posts

In your name

If By Arkansas Times’ “The Observer” (David Koon), June 14, 2018   If you can, cast your mind back to when you were very young and recall what it felt like to be separated from your mother and father. Not just playing in the yard or another part of the house, but truly, even for …

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Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2018/06/20/in-your-name/

A funk of fundamentalists

  Dear editor: Ah, dearly beloved, ‘tis no earthly pleasure can compare to the sweet caress of gentle enlightenment! But when ye write, use not vain repetitions, for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking (with apologies to Matthew 6:7 and the KJV). Verily, we beseech thee to keep thy blithering …

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Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2018/06/17/a-funk-of-fundamentalists/

Suffering Fools

Selections from a recent Facebook conversation.  Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the willfully ignorant, the woefully beguiled, and the morally repugnant (see fundie #5).  Due to the branching nature of such conversations on social media, this is stitched together from various, sometimes parallel/simultaneous narratives and is therefore only a linear approximation of …

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Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2018/05/28/suffering-fools/

The epitome of obscenity

Dear editor: In 1964, Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously refused to define obscenity.  Instead, he responded with these words:  “But I know it when I see it…”  A few Sundays back, in a front-page story in this newspaper, we all saw it and we all know it.  American politics has become an obscenity. Seems …

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Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2018/05/20/the-epitome-of-obscenity/

A wrinkle in time

Sometime in the mid-1930s, when my dad was about 12, a Ford Tri-Motor (aka “The Tin Goose”) flew onto a cow pasture just outside of Holdenville, Oklahoma.  For the next several days, for the mere price of a bread wrapper and fifty cents, a person could buy a short flight.  Bereft of even a half-dollar …

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Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2018/05/12/a-wrinkle-in-time/

Beseeching the Almighty to please hurry

Dear editor: For letter writers beseeching the Almighty to please hurry up and make Mike Nunn pray the sinner’s prayer or walk the Roman Road, or whatever the latest trick is for getting past St. Peter and the Pearly Gates, take a break from your earnest lamentations and look around. Notice all those empty pews? …

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Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2018/03/22/beseeching-the-almighty-to-please-hurry/

666

Dear editor: America is awash in an eschatological frenzy of flummery. So when news about Mueller’s investigation of our pouty POTUS’s son-in-law began focusing on shenanigans surrounding foreign financing of his building in New York City, my end-times spider sense began to tingle! People, you cannot make this stuff up. The address of that building …

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Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2018/02/21/666/