Cheez Whiz and lye

 

the_donald2

Dear editor:

Mister Sniffles’ ardent fans often attempt a diversionary tactic to deflect each and every criticism of their much-prayed-for sweet potato.  It’s an old debating trick to ignore the critics and instead demand an immediate and compelling explanation of why the alternative candidate is the better choice.  The tactic usually follows this erudite and genteel form…

“You better give it up, right now.  ‘Splain why Hillary would be a better president or shut your dang pie hole!”

How should one respond to such devastating brilliance?  The recent words of a life-long Republican and Birmingham lawyer suggest the answer.  Here, shared with his permission, is his take-no-prisoners response to an unfortunate soul named Louis…

“Actually, no, Louis, I don’t have to give it up.  Nor do I have to explain why Hillary would be a good president; I don’t particularly think she will be.  On the other hand, for me to advise you to eat Cheez Whiz rather than lye does not require me to explain why Cheez Whiz is good for you; it simply requires me to remind you that lye is poisonous and Cheez Whiz, whatever its flaws, is not.  Which is sort of analogous to what I’ve been doing ever since it became apparent that Trump would be the Republican nominee.”

He then adds…

“Hillary, I think, is an uninspiring person who will likely be a fairly mediocre president (others disagree, and I’m not debating that in this particular post).  Trump, on the other hand, is a racist, ill-informed xenophobe who speaks without regard for the truth or, as the game show would have it, the consequences either.  There is simply no comparison between the two, and the suggestion that, well, in order to speak against Trump, I must be a fan of Hillary’s is without foundation.”

And finally, he concludes…

“I speak against Trump because I’m a fan of the survival of humanity and of the survival of basic American principles.”

Drop the mic, Mister Birmingham Lawyer, sir.  Debate over.  Huzzah, huzzah…

[Jacques d’Nalgar]
Hot Springs, Arkansas

Related Posts

An alternative vision of capitalism The Self-Made Myth: Debunking Conservatives' Favorite - And Most Dangerous - Fiction By Sara Robinson, April 25, 2012 ... The self-made myth ...
Climate change in Arkansas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aunab1wtUfY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aunab1wtUfY ... The following was just emailed to John Lowery, a Democr...
Burying it in doo-doo Why Anyone Should Care that Bill O’Reilly Calls Me A Communist By Robert Reich, Monday, April 23, 2012 ... Bill O’Reilly, the tumescent persona...
Flammable pool of toxic paranoia The Ghost of Joe McCarthy in Today's Republican Party By Bill Moyers and Michael Winship, April 26, 2012 ... We’ve talked at times about George...
Coordinated, systematic racial discrimination Christians of the Holy Land By Ben White, 26 Apr 2012 06:36 ... A recent report by CBS show 60 Minutes on "Christians of the Holy Land" has r...
Indistinguishable from the lunatic fringe Satanazis III: Night of the Satanazis By Fred Clark, April 25, 2012 ... Don’t imagine you’re safe just because Pat Robertson, Demon Hunter, is ...
Our crime was looking like the people We Japanese Americans must not forget our wartime internment By George Takei, Friday 27 April 2012 15.15 EDT ... Seventy years ago, US soldiers...
Third-rate wingnut talkshow host This supremely Republican supreme court By Scott Lemieux, Friday 27 April 2012 15.41 EDT ... The 2008 elections represented a decisive repudiat...
Calling to America A (redacted) poem for the torture report By Brian Turner, Wednesday 10 December 2014 13.54 EST           &...
Brobdingnagian quantity of evidence “Oklahoma City”: The Bubba job By Laura Miller, Sunday, Apr 22, 2012 03:00 PM CDT ... In the hours after the 1995 bombing of the Murrah Federal...

Permanent link to this article: https://levantium.com/2016/10/12/cheez-whiz-and-lye/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.